Listening to the Natural Rhythms

It is winter. I am seriously needing down time, quiet time, time to rest, hibernate, do less, do little, stop, rejuvenate, and slowly, to be creative. Time to nurture myself and my inner life. I am already staying home a lot more, doing less socially, working fewer hours. But I'm needing more--more quiet, more nurturing, more rest, more creativity, more time to listen and tune in.

This is what winter asks of us. We can't keep ignoring these natural cycles and rhythms. As a culture, it is part of our sickness and pain that we do this. And it costs us dearly.

I need a break. I need a break from the way I've been doing life. No, I need change, not a break, real change. To stop running on anxiety about survival and the need to please others and do what's right and expected, to stop being powered by a low-level, and sometimes not-so-low-level, panic to keep up, pay the bills, excel, be a perfect friend, do everything and do it all perfectly. There's a call within and it's pressing. I don't want to keep contributing to the madness of our culture, pretending i believe in it, furthering it.

What will it take? What do i need to do to change the way i'm living, to be in harmony with what i know to be true, with natural rhythms, with my own rhythms? What will it take for me ot have a life that supports my gifts, my joy, my creativity and passion and song? What will it take for me to have a life i truly, whole-heartedly love, a life that doesn't violate me or others? What will it take to really be true to myself and to the "big picture"?

I'm tired of feeling overlooked and discounted, violated by my life. I am longing to live in accord with my deepest truths, my highest calling, to honor self, Divine, nature, and from that basis to honor others. Skipping over my own needs too much, i am becoming depleted.

Can i listen to what i need? Can i trust the world to hold me? Can i jump into that free fall?

Let's Start Now

Let’s Start Now

Here’s the thing: starlight, case study,

glimmer, frog—it’s all the same

and not—differentiated and yet one—

one giant bolt of cloth furled out of heaven’s gate

but the pattern so varied as to be

unrecognizable at times, until

you see certain fractals repeated

in galaxy swirl, sea shell, wave formation,

inner ear—how strange

and miraculous—and what are we

to make of it, carrying our briefcases,

stuttering on stairwells, confused and

full of longing, frustrated, indifferent,

afraid. Let’s face it, we are afraid

of one thing or another—even you who claim

you aren’t, will happily jump from the sun-

studded cliff with a gleaming sail,

will you tell your mother why

you are still angry? Will you let go completely

in another’s arms? Will you tell an audience

your deepest wants? You too

are afraid.

So then, if fear is the condition

and love the antidote,

let’s get on with it, shall we?

Stop beating ourselves up for our anger,

fear, limitation, inadequacy—they aren’t

going away—and start

dancing and chanting under the stars, touching

ourselves with tenderness.

Let’s start now.